Today was one of those days where I was pretty internal. I don't know if this is good or not but it happens every once in a while. When I'm like this I do allot of inner seeking. I look at my thoughts, I look at my past and I look at where I am now. I guess I go through a deep self analysis. When I'm like this I talk to God allot in my head and I ask allot of questions. He to be honest doesn't answer allot of them haha but I know He's listening and only answering the ones that need answers. In the past when I was like this I would doubt my faith and wonder If there was a god... I'm happy to say that is no longer a problem! Now He's really the one I talk through and process my mind with. If you could see the Image in my head it would look like this, Me and Jesus literally walking through this world that is my mind, It's spacy and sometimes there are mountains, sometimes there are oceans, other times we are just standing on a cliff looking out into this world. There isn't allot of what I would call "conversation" its allot of me just putting questions in the air and Jesus commenting or answering every now and then. It's like me and Jesus are on this journey with no destination. I don't think there is a destination.. I don't know I'm still kind of processing this and still in this mode as we speak... I know I'm leaving this kind of without an ending but if I had an ending I would give it.
I have had some people ask me if I'm sad or ok when I get in this mode so I guess there is some out word difference but I'm not sad I guess I'm just so deep inside that I don't even think about my expression, my posture, or anything. I can get somewhat anti social but don't take it personally I'm just thinking, really thinking, trying to figure out who I'm becoming and sometimes finding goals or things I need to change.
Sorry if this makes no sense to you
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