A Series of Unfortunate Events

"What might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact be the first steps of a journey" a quote I read this morning from the book and movie A Series of Unfortunate Events by Limony Snickets (Daniel Handler). The quote popped up on my tumbler and it's just all to fitting for my life right now. In the past few there has been "a series of unfortunate events" happening. I don't want to go into detail about these events right now because really this would turn into a reallllllllly long blog and most of you would have trouble reading through the entirety of it.

So moving on, I have been trying to discover what I'm learning through these events and also observing myself as I try to handle them (I know crazy concept right? Literally watching and taking notes on yourself?!). Well by working though these "events" and observing myself it put me in a place of reflection. I see how I've matured in my walk and relationship with Jesus through how I handle these "events."I'm seeking more biblical counsel, praying better, and seeking not my will but the will of the Fathers. Regardless about how I "feel" I want the will of the Father above my own wants. He knows what I need and He loves me.

Another thing that has been brought to light through these "events" is that I really struggle to let people in, to really let people know me and help me. I'm much better than I was before Off the Wall but there is still much mystery around me. What I mean by that is there is still allot that my good friends here don't know about how I grew up, what my family and I have been through. All the pain and suffering my family has endured together. Betrayed by family, friends, and even by some good standing people in the church. My mother sister and I have a very lose bond because we are each others only constants besides Jesus. Not to say that Jesus isn't enough, no that's not the issue. the issue is that we have trouble becoming bonded to other people outside of our group in such a way that we show our true emotion and express our real needs. One thing we have gotten good at is concealing our pain. So good in fact that we even when we want conceal it from each other. Nothing is shown unless we want it to be.

This is so dangerous! Its shields us from getting help from people, we take the weight by ourselves. Burdens that God does not want was to hold in. He wants us to express our pain to our biblical community and ask for help and prayer. God is enough yes, but he uses His servants to help as well. So I'm trying to be open about my pain to my community, seek wisdom from them, and be comforted by them. I love them I should let them love me!

So I'm working through these "series of unfortunate events" with my community not on my own.

Ecclesiastes 4:10-"For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"