Little Things That Make The Whole Summer Worth It

At the end of this middle school Wilderness week at camp one of my campers wrote me this thank you letter,

"Dear Shaun,

Thank you!! Thank you for all of the sacrifice of your time to keep me in check by telling me to shut up when I'm running my big mouth, to stop having attitude, and for not slapping us like you could have many times. Thanks for talking to me about my life and my problems , and also for praying for me. This week you taught me so much about God and His message. You inspired me to put aside my differences and my "False Idols" and read my bible and pray. That Thursday night when you took your night to stay outside and pray and talk to God. That made me feel so good. Because that inspired me so much! I definitely think that you have done what is carved on your bracelet that you got from your girl. (Ashley... Wait you already knew that's her name shes your girl. so yeah!) I am so glad that you could be here with all of us this summer. You are awesome. And even though we stress you out sometimes you still pull through for us and you are still awesome. I hope that you have a great time touring the country with Off the Wall and have a great time in life just in case I never see you again. Thank you again for the bracelet it means allot to me! And one last thing keep being awesome, kind, cool, thoughtful, cheerful, thrifty, brave, and many many MANY more things, keep being the christian you are!"

My camper handed this to me on Saturday morning after I woke everyone up to start our last morning together. It really toughed my heart and I was amazed my the words of this twelve year old child. I Love all the kids I get during the summer and the little things like this, the moments where they see more of Christ and change their lives, make it worth it. My ministry this summer at the camp has been an amazing summer where the Spirit worked mighty things in the hearts of many every week. My bracelet says "Inspire" and I have told many that that is my job, my job is to inspire others to Jesus. It feels so great to get this thank you letter and be reassured of my work this summer.  Praise the Lord and to Him be all the Glory.
   

Life Guard

Sorry I have not had time to gather everything from my weeks at camp yet, now I am on week 3 and the Lord is being shown to many. I will try and get more out but here is a taste of the start of my journey.

Life Guard training, a experience that I truthfully have feared for the past 4 years sense I started working at camp. You see I have always herd all the stories about how hard and intense it was this made me want to take it and prove I could do it! This was a fear that I wanted to conquer, this is the story of my Life Guard Training.

I guess I will just have to start at the beginning, that would be life guard training! Life guard training is the first time us counselors as a staff meet and bond together before the rest of the staff get here. We all go through life guard training together get pushed physically and really get to know each other. Meeting everyone went great we all seemed to get along well right from the start. It was a strange network of friendship, almost everyone had a friend working here with them, and somehow all of us friends were friends with each other in some way or another, very hard to explain haha. Life guard training was going to be fun and great phyical challenge and I wanted to conquer the small fear I had of failing..(I’m like 2% body fat.. AKA I dont float!)After little instruction the first thing we did after we got there was swim 300 meters! Not going to lie this made me realize that all that running I did a few months back had defiantly did nothing to prepare me! I was dead tired and the next test was right after.. So as we moved to the brick test with my chest pounding and lungs gasping for air I knew this was going to be hard. For the brick test there is a blue brick at the bottom of a twelve foot deep pool, first you have to swim to the other side of the pool then back to where the brick is, dive down get the brick, swim back to the other side then back to the side you started on! Everyone who went before me either failed or barely lifted themselves out of the pool.. I really wanted this and seeing that its challenging really gets me going, makes me want to conquer it! So when my turn came around my blood was pumping and I was ready! I jumped into the pool and started swimming, I swam down to the other side and was soon treading water over the brick. I took as deep of a breath as I could and went down……… I only got down about nine feet before I ran out of air. After rushing to the surface I tried to catch my breath. I tried and tried but couldn’t get more than a small gulp of air. My chest was wrenching and was pounding with pain. My heart was racing and i slowly realized that there was no way I could finish the test.. I was angry that my body was quitting on me, I was angry but I wasn’t about to let this test take me from this pool so I got enough air to say I’m getting out and started to try and swim to the ladder. When I got out of the pool I began explaining my heart condition. You see a few years back I had a similar problem in football, My chest gets tight I have trouble breathing and there is more pain than I have ever experienced. From what I have been told My heart starts beating so fast that I should be having a heart attack and a pouch around my heart inflates creating pressure in my heart and lungs. They asked me if I wanted emergency care and i said no, you see I don’t have health insurance and I don’t make enough money to really pay any medical bill. They gave me oxygen and soon told me they called emergency care any way.. Soon both me and the instructors agreed that I should be in another room so I don’t worry the others and scare them away fro the test. on my way I became very nauseous and grabbed a trash can and yup you guessed it puked up breakfast… At this time the paramedics have arrived and I’m sitting next to the trash can on a bench. As I was being asked questions my new friend Lincoln came over i asked “how you doing man?” he responded with and “all good” then proceeded to puke into the trash can as well lol it was quite a funny moment I thought. Now as I’m strapped to the gurney it really begins to sink in that I’m not going to be able to concur this fear of failing… I began to try my hardest to hold back tears and I felt the feeling of failure sinking in. After my short ride in the ambulance I sit in a room in the ER alone wires and stickers suck on all over my body. I just sat still disappointed, angry, and sad. Tears began to roll down my face as I sat wet still in my swim suit in this hospitable reminding me of this terrible restriction called my body. I began to long for my glorified body and Became disgusted with the sin filled limited body I had now. Soon a doctor came in and asked me some questions, I told him the same thing I told the others earlier. he said we were going to take some x-rays and after he finds my records we will see from there. I soon again sat alone watching doctors and nurses running back and forth past my room.

After a small while my good friend and boss Jim came in, one of the nurses earlier told me that he was on his way, that comforted me a little. Jim began to make funny statements like “they going to give you a monkey heart?” witch made me laugh and calm down a bit. The he asked me how I was feeling and I kind of broke down. “I hate it that it’s not me quitting! It’s my body I literally cant do this and I hate that!” “I hate that I can’t just go back and try again!” I’m so thankful for Jim in my life for he at this moment began to speak truth to me. He began to tell me to stop getting mad over this and figure out what to do next. After our little talk he went out and called my mother and my sister for me to let them know I was in the hospitable and then came back in to be with me. After a bit a financial adviser came in to talk with me. You see I don have health insurance and soon Jim and I were informed that workmens comp was not going to cover any of this sense this seems to be a pre-existing condition. So now to add to the mix I have been reminded of the medical bill that will be soon on its way. God provides and I’ll let Him take care of how I will pay for this so this was out of my mind soon.

My mother and my sister arrived and Jim said he was going to check on the rest of the staff sense they were now having lunch, so he left me in the care of my family and the hospital. My mom said that she was sorry that I have to go through this pain again. She knows how much it hurt me mentally and spiritually last time. But by now I was back rejecting reality. I was cracking jokes and my mother proclaimed that only would I almost die then be joking around smiling and simply wanting to get out of the hospital soon after I arrived. The doctor came in and did exactly as I expected and told me nothing new, advised me to check up with a doctor and see specialist just like the other doctors said the last times. I already decided that I wasn’t going to the doctor because I didn’t want to wast any more time just to be told they found nothing new. I wanted to continue with life and not sit idle run up a bill and possibly be told there is nothing they can do for me. So I checked out and Walked out of the ER still shirtless in my swim suit, medical stickers sill stuck all over my body, still slightly wet from the pool.

I got dropped off back at Life Guard Training and met back up with the staff. They were still having lunch when I arrived, I hugged my mom goodbye and joined my staff. Everyone was like “He’s alive!!” haha I told everyone I would live. I still had the stickers stuck on because they stick on very hard and they feel like pealing off duck tape, so soon began the game of “Lets see if we can make Shaun feel pain!” all the male staff grabbed a sticker and counted down to pull fast and quick. A great roar from me fallowed my laughter by everyone and myself. It was a great way to be welcomed back. Lunch was over and we began our walk back to the pool and back to training. This walk through these halls was a interesting feeling of slight shame for I knew that when I walked back into class I was walking in as someone finishing the course and only becoming certified in CPR and First AID, not being able to pass the whole class.
The rest of my days went I passed CPR and First  AID with flying colors and the rest of the class passed as well. Allot happened in this one day and I’m still dissecting and processing it fully. but what I do know is the truth, the truth that God uses everything for His good, my good times and the times where I fail. He will use it and He has His reasons for limiting me here and now. I still struggle with finding peace in this specific spot of my life but I just remind myself that this life is not mine. I have given it to the Lord and His will and sometimes I will not understand it but thats okay I have faith that my Father is good.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven”

Roller Coaster

Well sense coming back to Michigan things have been quite the roller coaster. Really every day has had extreme highs and some pretty low lows.

Reading my Bible every day became a difficult task but luckily I had some projects set up for myself that involved studying some scripture so that helped me stay on track. Some unexpected drama has entered into my life that I didn't expect but I have some good biblical and wise mentors around to help me through. Really speaking truth and giving advice that only wisdom and experience can give. I am grateful for them.

It hasn't been all bad like I said some extreme highs are in there. First of all is my relationship with this wonderful and beautiful woman Ashley. Ashly really brings a happiness to my heart and soul that really is impossible to express with simply words. I wish I could but really all of you dont really want to hear all that mushy stuff so I'll spare you (be thankful). Ashley has me pushing myself in the word more and more because I know that to lead her correctly I need to know Jesus and His Word. I see so much Love for Jesus in her that it inspires me to keep on the good fight.

Another happy note is I have been reunited with my great friend Sir Ty Dups. He makes me laugh so much and makes every day an adventure. We have serious Jesus talks and really ask each other hard questions about life and God. I really Love this guy.

Working early at the camp has been great for me also. Puts me back in a biblical environment and I get to do work with my hands, witch always makes me happy. There is nothing like reaching the end of you day and sitting down completely exhausted and know that you did good work. And the best part is it's not just a job, this place has a heavenly impact and I'm so glad to help improve, repair, and prepare this place. My hands get all swollen and my body aches but I did my work for the Lord and there is nothing more satisfying. Literally feeling and knowing that I gave it my all. I'm excited for the summer camps to start and really do what I came here for, I came to pore into every kid and inspire and lead them to the Father, to Jesus, and to the Word. It's a big responsibility but I think I have been prepared, I have been given my lion and my bear (refrence to the lion and bear that David slain before he faced Goliath) 

Lastly was this last night when I got to see most of my Off the Wall family! They called and said they were going to be in Michigan for a seize the summer show and wondered if I could make it. Well like I was going to pass up seeing my close biblical family? No! So I went and it was great to see everyone :] It lifted my heart to see them again it feels way to long sense I left. But I will be returning after the summer so I have that to look foreword to :]  Don gave a charge that night from the stage to everyone he had pored into over the years. I really needed to hear the charge to keep my head up and continue the good fight and contend for the faith. I Love Don.

Jude 1:3 "Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints" 

2nd Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

The Relationhip Status

   So yeah two days before I left Ohio I decided to get into a relationship.... PFFTT YEAH AND TOTALLY WORTH IT! ASHLEY IS AWESOME!! Yeah shes like approximately 350 miles away, and about to be approximately 1,647 miles away, and yeah shes goin to Guatemala for 3 years starting in January to work at a children's home and love little Guatemalan orphans. But she Loves Jesus and she is totally worth the pain of being apart. I would rather call her mine and be separated by mere distance than to regret not asking this amazing woman, to be a special part of my life and my walk with God.

   Allot of things I read today pointed me to think about us and our journey to our relationship as well as our now started relationship. One was a quote I read on tumbler it read "When we first met, I had no idea you would be so important to me." That is a great way to describe my feeling about when we first met. To be honest I thought she was cute but I didn't go to Off the Wall to find a woman so really the thought that she would be more than a girl at Off the Wall never really set in my mind. I mean heck the first time we really met she was at the guys house knitting with Jill while we watched a movie. I had no clue that as the months passed that she would become more and more important to me.

   The next thing that pointing me to think about our relationship was the new book I'm reading that my pastor gave me, its called "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung. Its about finding God's will, or more about doing something instead of using the excuse of "waiting for God's will to be revealed" to not do anything. Any way this is the quote I want to talk about "We should start looking to God- His character and His promises- and thereby have confidence to take risks for His name's sake." When I thought of going for Ashley I was so afraid of it not being "God's will" and me messing up both our lives. This consumed me in fear and made my life increasingly stressful.. I wasn't reminding myself of the truth and promise that He works all things out for His good will (Romans 8:28). God doesn't tell us every step to take,  I like what Ashly told me tonight while we talked about this book a bit "..was a step of faith for me.. not knowing how things will look or come to be but trusting that God can make it work and happen." Sometimes its a step of faith.

   And I wasn't taking God's character into consideration, God would not make our lives miserable because we decided to be together He wants us to find Love and I find nowhere in the bible where He tore two people away from each other forcefully ending their relationship for a reason as "not being His will" If its not His will it wont happen! And if He so will's it He can end it, but that fear should not be the reason for not acting. I went through quite allot in my pursuit of Ashley but in that pursuit it put me in a place where I learned so much about God's will and character. And as we continue together it is a continual lesson that I am learning more and more about. To be honest a relationship with a beautiful woman that pushes you in your relationship with Jesus and your knowledge of the word and God's character, What else can you ask for?!?! I have never felt a push to have a better relationship with the father than when our relationship started, I need to have a good relationship with Jesus before I can lead this relationship with Ashley. I'm so thankful that she is not a distraction from God but a push to be more like Jesus. I thank Jesus for leading me to such a woman :)

   So yeah this is and extremely long distance relationship and it's going to be hard and full of heart ache and troubles I'm sure, but we know that communication will be a very important part in our relationship and that God is bigger than these miles between us. We know this relationship seems crazy to believers and non-believers alike but we are often described as crazy anyway so thats no big deal. I could go on and on but I know most of you don't want to read all that sappy junk :] so Ill end with this, I'm really happy and proud to call Ashley my girlfriend and I'm looking forward to our future.  

Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

Learning

Well sorry I haven't posted in a long time... I have been busy ending the semester with Off the Wall getting time in with everyone before I leave, and unexpected family problems. Then I decided to start a relationship at the end of the semester adding a whole new dimension to my life, but this one I like. All of this demanded allot of my attention and this blog was something I just didn't have time or energy for. But for the next few weeks I'm be back!

As the semester came close to its end I have seen so much improvement in the way I handle things now. I handle them with more confidence in the Lord. I remember more of the promises of God (provision, heavenly security, ect) A big thing has been remembering God's Character. When I fear the situation Jesus has placed me I now ask the Question "Is it in Gods character to do that to me?" It helps me put things into perspective. It reminds me that Jesus is not trying to hurt me! All to often I think we think that what we want and what Jesus wants cant be the same. We might not think that directly but we fear Jesus taking things away from us. God doesn't just take things away, when he does he its for our own good. Our father wants the best for us. Much like when we are children and our parents take something away from us, we kick, scream, cry, and pout. But our parents don't just take something away to make us scream they have a reason, to remove a problem, to stop distraction, to exchange with something better.

but remember if it is good He wont take it away! We need not to guard anything from Jesus. If you fear something being taken ask yourself "Would it be in God's character to do this to me?" "Is there a place in the word to back that up?" The fear of God taking away something can also hinder us from taking it at all! But remember if its good He wont take it. If its something we shouldn't have I think you know you shouldn't have it, a temptation or something that you know leads to sin. But thats different, I'm talking about something you want but the only thing stopping you from getting it is the fear of God taking it away. I don't think thats right, He does not want to deny us blessings.

So if theres something you want, or something you want to do, and the only reason for you not getting or doing it is fear of getting it taken away, STOP LIVING IN FEAR! It could be stopping you from accepting or receiving a great blessing. Think about it, if someone wanted to give you money to help you live would you reject it because your afraid that Jesus will take it away from you? Is that in God's character? NO he wants the best for us and He's not out to make things worse. Remember God's character.

Love Jesus 

Mathew 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"

God Abba Father

I Love

I Love loving Jesus with friends

I Love connecting with people

I Love meeting new people

I Love seeing that someone cares about me

I love to be pushed

I Love the Word and its impact on my life

I Love my teachers

I Love what God provides

I Love where He moves me

I Love that He will bring me back

I Love Joy

I Love God's will and not my own

Thank you Jesus for all that you have given me, friends, family, and your word. I know I leave this place for but a little while and I thank you that I will return. Thank you for the mission of this summer and I pray that glory, honor, and praise be lifted to you as I do the work you have given me.

"Oh how He Loves us!"- How He Loves, David Crowder Band

Joy and Maturity

I know this may sound strange but I'm really proud of what I have become. It is truly amazing to look at my transformation through Jesus Christ. Seeing my changed thoughts, attitudes, views, perspectives, anything the Lord will's to change. I'm changing because I have deeper understanding of the Word, more knowledge of who Jesus is, and a biblical community of friends(now family). Through all of these I was revealed a deeper Love and Joy never before felt or expressed in my life.

My Love for people and especially children has grown parallel with my deeper Love for Jesus. Witch I think is Biblical in reference to the two greatest commandments  Mat 22: 36-40 "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Our Love for humanity as a whole should be looked at through the eyes of Jesus! He Loves us without conditions! I Love Loving people!(yeah I know that sounds funny). Really I do I'm at my happiest and filled with Joy when I'm Loving people. When I'm playing with children, when I'm talking to that person who's hard to understand, when I'm taking that neighbor blankets because I noticed he had no bedding to sleep on, I'm most happy when I'M BEING OBEDIENT!

I've really had a revelation with Joy! For some reason before I didn't understand Joy. I barely knew the difference between Joy and happiness. I was told they were different but never really had it explained to me until I understood (for a little more on what I learned about Joy look at my last blog). This year during trials I hung on to the Joy instead of quenching it. I was confident that Jesus was bigger and I believed in His promises. It made trials so much easier, I processed through them with reading the word, seeking and listening to biblical counsel, I tried to look at my trials through a biblical perspective. I looked at what the Word told me, reminded myself of truth, and shared my burden with my brothers and sisters. Keeping Joy gave me a clear head, I was able to work through these trials with as little damage in my wake as possible. Finding the wisest decision and confirming them with counsel, Joy is truly amazing. Having this reminder and some new lessons about Joy has really encouraged and strengthened me to do more.  I could wright more but I need to go to bed...

Psalm 16:11

"You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."