So for a while now I have been praying about the direction Ashley and I were going to take in living our lives together for Christ. What I mean is what were we going to do? were we going to stay in the states with Off the Wall making disciples, or were we goin to Guatemala and the Liga de Vida Nueva (New Life children's home) to disciple the children there... both options were glorifying to God, both are lead by the command of Jesus to go forth and make disciples(The Great Commission Mathew 28:16-20) and both options are good (really there are three options because God could take us anywhere He wants and that could be neither of these options but that's a whole other topic of discernment.) As I was seeking an answer in this decision I was making sure that I wasn't choosing an option because it was the easiest or simply what I or Ashley wanted to do. I didn't want to stay here simply because I was comfortable here and I didn't want to go to Guatemala simply because that's what she planned on before we got together, (I didn't want to go there to just make her happy, because then my heart wouldn't be in it) to go to Guatemala Jesus would have to break my heart for those kids because although I have a passion for kids and missions I didn't break for these kids and I had an attachment here in the US. . We are becoming one so everything changes now, our previous commitments change, and our previous plans that we may have had for our lives change. We needed to find out now how we are going to best serve God together. We needed to find out how to have a united ministry. Through prayer and much Godly counsel and discussion it came down to these options; serving God here in the US making disciples, or going to Guatemala and serving the children's home and disciplining the children and people there.
So this past week I attended "Mosaic" a young adult bible group where we come together to read the Word and be challenged. That night I was asked to help lead worship, Josh was playing the guitar and I was playing the cajon. So things started off normal we sang and worshiped and then Don came up to lead the discussion/message. The topic for the night was Discipleship, after showing a video Don got up and prayed to start things off. After he started with a question like "do you ever feel like all you hear is the pain of this world?" then something took him and he began to break down and cry, as I sat I began to cry with him. He collected himself and prayed a few more times, then asked what are we doing about it? Are we disciples? Do we act like it? he began to cry again. As I began to cry again all I could see was a child standing before me. The child and I were standing in the dirt and the child was looking up at me and smiling. I bent down to the child and put my hands on his shoulders looked into his little eyes and said "I want to help make you more like Christ, I Love you." And I had children around me and I wanted to disciple them. My heart broke for these kids and somehow I knew that this represented the children in Guatemala. My heart was broken for these kids that I have only heard about and I wanted to help them, I wanted to invest in their lives and teach them how to be godly. Don collected himself finished his lesson with the Great Commission. Josh and I went up to finish up the night with a song and we sang "With Everything" and my heart just continued to break. By then end of the song all I could do was sit on my drum with my head in my arms crying, weeping for these children. I was filled with a Love and a desire for these kids, I knew now that this was the confirmation I had been praying for. The Lord did exactly what He needed to do to send me on this path, He broke my heart for the children that I will be going to disciple, He broke my heart specifically for them.
So now starts the final preparation of raising support and preparing to go to Guatemala with the Love of my life to do the work of discipleship in the lives of the children in Liga de Vida Nueva (New Life children's home). This is going to be hard but I trust the Lord to lead me in the right direction and I trust Him to take Ashley and I through any challenge before us. I know this is crazy but here we go, we are going to Guatemala for a minimum of 2 years while facing the challenge of a newly wed life! But we Love Jesus and we Love each other so I think we will make it standing bright and strong for the Lord. I believe the Lord is taking us in this direction and I intend to obey.
Mathew 28:19-20-- "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Monday, October 22, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Where would I be without the Gospel?
Where would you be without the Gospel? It was a question asked in our young adults bible study. Its a question I have asked myself before, a question that brings me to one of my fears. My fear of being who I believe myself would be without Christ. I think this is a important question that brings to light the importance of the gospel in our lives.
I know that for some people its hard to imagine what they would be like because they were saved at a young age. But I was saved at a young age and i believe I have a pretty good idea who and what I would be.. I have battled it throughout my life.. the choice to pursue the life that I know I would accomplish... A life lead by myself and not the King I serve now... Making myself king... Ever sense I was a little kid I have had a sense of leadership, and others always fallowed. I never had that struggle in my life of not realizing that I was a leader and not liking people fallowing or depending on me. I accepted and embraced it. I wanted to lead others into something great, this was my dream. This dream was not exactly something I just decided I wanted to do but something I thought I was called to, something I was meant to do. As I grew older I began my debate on weather or not I was going to be a leader that lead from within the law or if was going to be a leader of the underground and not be bound by the laws of our society and culture.
So started my struggle with how to still be good but be underground. I was going to be a leader of my own clan. I am a very medieval and mafia style man and I believed in a hierarchy system and I was going to create and lead one. It would have started with my closest friends and I would have built up an earthly thrown. I would have been involved in all kinds of underground, I would have stolen from the rich, I would have taken in the poor, I would have began an empire. I would have stolen, destroyed, and killed. Whatever was necessary for the ones who fallowed me to be safe and strong. I would have defended and fought for this. And probably eventually moved into another country where I could reach more people. I would build an earthly throne and I would not be a man to oppose. Sure I probably still would have been a good person, stood for what I thought was right, I would keep the peace and bring forth what I saw as justice, but really it would all be empty. All this that I would build, the people I would help, the things I would accomplish would all crumble.... It would all be in my name.. Worthless... Yeah I may not know if any of this would actoully happen, I mean weather or not I believed Gods will still would stand in my life but I do know that would be my goal and purpose. I would bring select people together to protect and provide for a kingdom that I would raise.
But now I see the eternal, I see Jesus and His Love for me and what he has done for me. He died on the cross for me so that I could be with Him in eternity! So that I could be redeemed, adopted, raised up from the dead, glorified, and placed as part of the bride that is the church. I can do things for the Lord that will echo into eternity. I can serve a King greater than I. I can find true Justice in the Lord. I can be a stronger force with the Lord than if i had an army of thousands. I am now part of something bigger than my lifetime and bigger than this world even. Now I can go out with instruction and guidance from the one who is greater than I, and do things that will effect eternity and give people what they really need. Not just solve their temporary problem but show them a great King and provider. I can show them the reason I can do truly good things without selfish motive or gain. God is Good all the time. And I thank Him for His Gospel and His work in my life.
Mathew 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
I know that for some people its hard to imagine what they would be like because they were saved at a young age. But I was saved at a young age and i believe I have a pretty good idea who and what I would be.. I have battled it throughout my life.. the choice to pursue the life that I know I would accomplish... A life lead by myself and not the King I serve now... Making myself king... Ever sense I was a little kid I have had a sense of leadership, and others always fallowed. I never had that struggle in my life of not realizing that I was a leader and not liking people fallowing or depending on me. I accepted and embraced it. I wanted to lead others into something great, this was my dream. This dream was not exactly something I just decided I wanted to do but something I thought I was called to, something I was meant to do. As I grew older I began my debate on weather or not I was going to be a leader that lead from within the law or if was going to be a leader of the underground and not be bound by the laws of our society and culture.
So started my struggle with how to still be good but be underground. I was going to be a leader of my own clan. I am a very medieval and mafia style man and I believed in a hierarchy system and I was going to create and lead one. It would have started with my closest friends and I would have built up an earthly thrown. I would have been involved in all kinds of underground, I would have stolen from the rich, I would have taken in the poor, I would have began an empire. I would have stolen, destroyed, and killed. Whatever was necessary for the ones who fallowed me to be safe and strong. I would have defended and fought for this. And probably eventually moved into another country where I could reach more people. I would build an earthly throne and I would not be a man to oppose. Sure I probably still would have been a good person, stood for what I thought was right, I would keep the peace and bring forth what I saw as justice, but really it would all be empty. All this that I would build, the people I would help, the things I would accomplish would all crumble.... It would all be in my name.. Worthless... Yeah I may not know if any of this would actoully happen, I mean weather or not I believed Gods will still would stand in my life but I do know that would be my goal and purpose. I would bring select people together to protect and provide for a kingdom that I would raise.
But now I see the eternal, I see Jesus and His Love for me and what he has done for me. He died on the cross for me so that I could be with Him in eternity! So that I could be redeemed, adopted, raised up from the dead, glorified, and placed as part of the bride that is the church. I can do things for the Lord that will echo into eternity. I can serve a King greater than I. I can find true Justice in the Lord. I can be a stronger force with the Lord than if i had an army of thousands. I am now part of something bigger than my lifetime and bigger than this world even. Now I can go out with instruction and guidance from the one who is greater than I, and do things that will effect eternity and give people what they really need. Not just solve their temporary problem but show them a great King and provider. I can show them the reason I can do truly good things without selfish motive or gain. God is Good all the time. And I thank Him for His Gospel and His work in my life.
Mathew 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
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